Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize