she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
