When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
