I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
