Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
