you guys were way drunker than both of me
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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