I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
