you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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