It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
