but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize