i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
