just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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