is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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