There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
