Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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