READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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