I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
