I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
