If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize