never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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