whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
