8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
