plz talk dirty to me
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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