It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
