i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
