Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
