we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
