You made me cry and you don't even care
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
