how do flat chested girls get laid?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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