Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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