I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
