it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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