:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
