Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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