i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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