How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
