i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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