Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
