My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
