Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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