The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
