I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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