You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
