seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
