you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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