I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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