i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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