Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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