508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
