I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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