I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize