Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
