I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
this hospital has no fireball
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
