My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
