hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
