i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
