Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize