it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
