it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
