This dress was meant to end up on your floor
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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