this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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