I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
