Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize