i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I want her autograph on my taint
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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